Baggage

Introduction

Why would anyone have a blog called Baggage? All those negative connotations – “Don’t get into that relationship – he comes with too much baggage!” “She’s been married before? Stay away! Too much baggage!” With all those images of people burdened by their ‘baggage’, laden down by burdens and heavy loads, maybe there should be a title with more appealing imagery. Hopefully, I can convince you of my reasons for sticking with it!

It was on an idyllic, sunlit day walking in Northumberland with my cousin that I first mentioned to him my dream of being a writer. It was a moment of intimacy for me and not something I often shared with others for fear of their surprise, or worse, ridicule. He didn’t laugh though, or express surprise. In fact, his only surprise was that I wasn’t doing anything about it. He knew I had written stories and poetry as a child. How could he not? My Nana had thrust my childish works upon him and my other long-suffering cousins on her many visits to Canada. She was my greatest cheerleader, entering one of my poems in a competition in a local magazine and devastated when it was rejected. If only I had harnessed her belief in me, I might have taken this brave step, in putting my writing into the public domain, a long time ago.

The few people I had told of my passion for writing had only known me as a wife, a friend, a mum and an earner of a living, too caught up in getting through life to pursue my passion. My mother had told me years ago that writing for a living was a pipe dream full of people who wanted to do the same thing, that it was full of rejection and that you had to be great to succeed. So I’m not that great, said the voice in my head – not great enough to succeed. Even when a college lecturer assured me there was no reason I could not be a published author, I still chose to hear my mother’s negative voice instead of the encouraging, supportive one. Why hadn’t I listened to the positive ones instead?

My cousin was the right person to tell. He is an actor and a happy, fulfilled one at that. And he earns a living doing what he loves. To do it, he had to be brave, to become a mature student and study his craft, to embrace uncertainty and financial instability and to face rejection. But he did it! In a hugely competitive part of the world where the top players in North America work, he holds his own and, as I pause to reflect on this, I admire him and wonder if he was brave enough, why shouldn’t I be?

So where to start? That bloody blank page has haunted me all of my adult life! I would feel compelled to write but about what and for what audience? I confessed my longing to a friend who, as it turns out has a similar interest. She found us some writing workshops and my adult writing journey began. I don’t know what I expected in these workshops, but it was certainly not that nothing I wrote would be wrong and that I should simply let my pen do the talking, Wow! What a revelation to feel free, that no-one would judge me.

I told a few people close to me, most of whom were encouraging but none more so than my cousin on that glorious day.

“You need a blog!” he exclaimed.

“But what would I write about?”

“All those things you are curious about exploring! The tips you give people about places to go and see! You have this curiosity about the world which makes you seek out and embrace experiences. Write about that!”

“But who will read it?”

“Who cares? Do it for you!”

“But what would I call it?”

“Baggage, of course!”

So, baggage is his affectionate, but slightly insulting, nickname for me! It is derived from the affectionate “old bag” which became extended to “baggage,” “old baggage” or “my favourite baggage” when he is feeling particularly affectionate! It has stuck ever since!

A year after our conversation, I reflected on it, having done more workshops and stared at more blank pages. Then I listened to a podcast during which someone, having achieved great professional success, said with great passion that you would never achieve anything if you didn’t make a start. “Don’t complain about that great unwritten blog if you never write it!” Was he speaking directly to me? I was sure I could feel him looking into my eyes as he said it and I heard him loud and clear.

So baggage it is! Not just because it is a much loved cousin’s nickname for me and I have become sentimental about it. It’s about the more positive connotations baggage might have. It is what you take on your travels. It facilitates your journey to adventures, to places and people that become treasured memories. Life’s baggage contains everything we gather along the way…………the lessons learned, the mistakes and the pain that change us and help us evolve. Baggage is part of our journey so I hope you will enjoy, or at least indulge me, in this apprehensive sharing of mine.